They Only Come Out At Night

I just killed the ugliest, biggest fucking creature ever. Here I am, in my basement, typing away at my computer, pondering bed. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a black furry thing moving. I look, and there it is -- a 3-inch insect from hell. I had just enough time to freeze in my position before it scurried under the book shelf.

In shock, I just sat there wondering if I was hallucinating. If I had seen what I had just seen, there was no way I was going to bed with that thing still alive and crawling around my place (even though my bed is in another room entirely, one can never be to cautious). After about 10 minutes of just staring at that stupid shelf, the billion-legged monster creeped out and went running under my school bag (mental note: never leave my school bag, and anything else, on the floor again). I scanned the room for something, anything, to kill it. I was hoping to have enough proximity as possible between myself and the Thing, but since I didn't have a fire hose on hand, I had to settle for my slipper. My poor, pretty little ballet slipper. I mustered up the courage to walk to my schoolbag with the hope that it wouldn't just sprint out at me (I would have been a dead woman, otherwise); thankfully, as if knowing about its own tragic demise, it moved with trepidation. I then abhorrently squished it with said slipper (that poor, pretty little slipper) and of course, it didn't die right away so i had to squish it even harder.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

WWWWW.

Goose-bumped, I ran to my computer to check up what this thing could be. Turns out, it's a house centipede. A website aptly said that it looked like a moving hairbrush. Apparently, these bugs are really "friendly" and they kill spiders and other household pest......uhhh, how is this not a pest? How is this even posited as being a human "friend"???

Wonderful. Now I cannot sleep. I just feel like this centipede thing is crawling up my arms. I am probably going to dream about it. Maybe I will even end up having supper with it one day, just because I'm lucky like that.

I am not moving that shoe for a week. Does exoskeleton evaporate? (Please say yes.)

The Soundrack of My Life on Party Shuffle

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...

---------------------------------------------------------------

Opening Credits: Ladytron - "Laughing Cavelier"
Sounds like something from the Dr. Who soundtrack. Perfect. (Did anyone else watch it as a kid and wonder how the hell that computerized office fit in a phone booth?)

Waking Up: Medeski, Martin and Wood - "Mami Gato"
If I could wake up in this type of jazzy mood each morning, I wouldn't hate my life so much.

First Day At School: Wintersleep - "Migration"
If I have to migrate to another "first day at school," I will kill myself.

Falling In Love: The Kills (covering Serge Gainsbourg) - "I Call It Art"
Yes, I'm that pretentious.

Sex Scene: MSTRKRFRT - "She's Good For Business"
It's funny 'cause it's true.

Fight Song: Air - "Photograph"
I love you Air, but I'm so not fucking fighting to your limp-wristed, vanilla lullabies.

Breaking Up: Eagles Of Death Metal - "Poor Doggy"
Nothing like reducing your ex to a dog. Or maybe doing it doggy one more time for the road. Whatever the case, it works.

Prom: Lush - "Ocean"
If they played this at my prom, I would have been one happy starry-eyed, shoe-gazing, hormonally-charged 17-year old.

Life's OK: The Strokes - "Electricityscape"
Life would be A-OK if I was in NYC with Julian and company.

Mental Breakdown: Beck - "Static"
I'm breaking down as we speak.

Quitting Shit Job: Half-Life 2 Soundtrack - "Lab Practicum"
The fact that I have this song in iTunes is a testament to why I -- and the person who sent me this track -- should stop gaming and get back to work.

Driving: The Rapture - "Out of the Races and Onto the Tracks"
Not only apropos, but fucking hot.

Flashback: Jackson and his Computer Band - "Moto"
Jackson can flash my back any day. Wiki him and you'll understand.

Getting Back Together: The Magnetic Fields - "Underwear"
The only reason to get back together, really.

Birth of Child: The Arcade Fire - "Headlights Look Like Diamonds"
Can the father of the child be Win Butler? No? Fuck it, then.

Wedding: Supergrass - "Run"
Indeed.

Final Battle: The Vines - "Gross Out"
It would be a minute-long fight, but dammit, it would be fucking crazy.

Death Scene: Boards of Canada - "Tears From the Compound Eye"
YES.

Funeral Song: vitaminsforyou - "Everything is Always"
My funeral song will not sound like postmodern fluff.

End Credits: Roni Size - "The Streets"
Fuck this, let's dance.